Unfaithful
by kasey07
Summary: He tortured and killed with blood still warm on his hands but he loved me and that was all I ever needed. One shot. Complete


**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

---------

_Story of my life  
Searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul  
Cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company _

I rested there in the dark, listening to his rhythmic breathing beside me. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Over and over again. It killed me, the silence. The peace of the night. It drove me to the brink of insanity.

I got up, swung my legs over the side of the bed we shared and I wandered outside, into the garden where the sweet smell of the flowers in full bloom filled me with a mysterious sense belonging. Belonging. This was where I wanted to be, but not where I belonged.

Wrapping my arms around myself to protect me from the cool night air, I lay down on the grass. I looked up dark sky and realized that the stars shone that night. I hadn't seen the stars for a very long time. When I looked up at them, I felt so diminutive and insignificant. Lost in this vast world of abandoned souls. Trapped in this hell called life.

The chirping of nearby crickets calmed my nerves, as I studied the heavens, hoping to find my answer in them. After what seemed like hours on the grass, I got back up and returned back to the warm bed. As I got back in, I could feel him stirring in his sleep as he draped a comforting arm around my stomach.

I pulled closer to him. I wanted to be as close as possible before dawn broke out. And then he would be gone again, leaving the only evidence of his presence, the rustled bed sheets and the faint smell of his cologne lingering on the pillow. And I, too, would then get dressed and leave. Return home to my family, where I belonged.

---------

I walked in the front door of The Grimmauld Place. It was quiet just as I had anticipated. Hanging up my cloak in the entrance, I walked up those stairs, those familiar steps which I had walked over so many times before I stepped in front of that door. I paused before I turned the knob, knowing he was behind that door.

I finally opened the door and he opened a sleepy eye, awakened by the creaking of the door and light from the hall.

"G'morning Ginny," he said cheerily as he pulled his arms into a stretch and let out a huge yawn.

Putting on a fake smile, I walked over to where he was and kissed him on the cheek. "You should get up soon, Harry. Tonks wanted to talk to you today."

"Right," he groaned and dragged himself out of bed and began getting dressed. I wordlessly left the room.

It hurt every time I looked at him because he didn't know what I'd been doing behind his back. I'm ashamed that that I hurt him like that, and every time I glanced at him, his eyes were only filled with love and understanding, not hate like they would be if he ever found out. But I couldn't let him know, not now.

---------

The dim lights gave the kitchen the illusion that everything was normal and perfect. I hated it. So, I sat there quietly sipping my cup of tea, listening to what they were saying. It was all I could do.

"We can't lag behind any longer, Harry! Another family has gone missing!" Ron slammed his fist down on the table, shaking the china plates and cups.

"Ron, I know." Harry ran his hands through his untidy hair, a gesture he often did whenever he was frustrated. "You have absolutely no idea how demanding this is! I've looked everywhere, the orphanage, the House of Gaunt, even the old Riddle Manor!"

"Potter, calm yourself down!" interrupted Mad Eye Moody, his sinister eye spinning crazily in its socket.

Harry sat back down again, and all of the other members of The Order remained silent around the table.

"If you track down Malfoy, you just may be able to find out the location of the last Horcrux," said Tonks.

The name caught my attention and immediately my concentration snapped back to what they were talking about.

Ron had only snorted, "If he doesn't kill Harry first."

Hermione glared at him.

"Oh, come on! We all know the man is Voldemort's right hand man since his father's death. He's killed more people than books Hermione have read!"

Once again, a gap hung thickly in the air, the truth strung by those words suspended there. A distant creaking from the old house interrupted.

Hermione cleared her throat, "It's not entirely impossible." She took out a piece of rolled up parchment from the pocket of her robes. "He killed Elliot Navy here the day before," she pointed to a spot on the map. "And someone saw him here just yesterday," she jabbed at another location.

My heart began to race. He was seen yesterday?

I slipped unnoticed out of the kitchen while they argued over the best way to set a trap and catch him. I had to warn him. Even if it meant betraying everyone else.

_He's more than a man  
And this is more than love  
The reason that this guy is blue  
The clouds are rolling in  
Because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true _

---------

He came again tonight. I didn't expect him to. He never came to me two nights in a row. It would have been too suspicious for him.

The dark of his hood covered his eyes and hid them from sight when he appeared with a faint pop. I was just sitting there in the garden. On that stone bench in front of the rose bush.

"I didn't think you were going to come," I whispered.

He didn't answer. He just stood there, watching me with those indifferent eyes.

"They're looking for you," I whispered through my lips. "They want to set a trap. You were seen yesterday." I got up from the bench and walked over to where he was. "I don't want you to be caught."

"I won't."

Just simple words, barely completing the requirements of a sentence that brought me some relief. He never lied to me. He wouldn't let himself be caught.

I looked away from him, perhaps I was too afraid to, but still, it didn't stop him from looking at me with his grey eyes that always made me feel so naked.

He held me close to him and I could hear his heart pounding in his chest. I wished that time would have stopped right there. I never wanted to let go.

He was a man of few words. He kept everything about him hidden from the outside world. Always a mask of indifference and emotionless features. No one could change who he was. A Death Eater. A cold murderer, nonetheless. So I didn't even try. But there was something about him that couldn't let me go. Even though I was already with someone else, I always returned back to him there. Our secret place, he had called it. A homely cottage concealed from the rest of the world; enchanted so that no one else could find it.

Somehow, through all of our meetings, I realized that I had let him in too deep. Now he was like a knife that was stabbed in my heart; too painful if continued to be left in but if pulled out, it would bleed to death.

We entered the small cottage where the lights and candles were already bright and waiting for is tonight. He took off his hood but kept the rest of his cloak on. Bits and pieces of his white blonde hair were falling into his handsome face. "I'll be gone for a long while," he said, brushing the hair out of his face.

I nodded, unable to do anything else.

He nodded as well and the pulled the hood back over his head. He gave me a quick kiss goodbye as an apology. He wasn't spending tonight with me. Then he was gone.

_He's more than a man  
And this is more than love _

_The reason that this guy is blue  
The clouds are rolling in  
Because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true _

---------

"Gin, I love you," Harry suddenly said one night.

"I love you too," I automatically said back. I truly wished that what I had just said was what I meant.

We were standing on the balcony. It was beautiful night, the picturesque scene of the garden fountain just below us. My mind, however, had wandered far away from there. Harry had come behind me and wrapped his warm arms around me.

I continued to stand there with Harry holding me until a cold wind came and blew at us, sweeping some of my curls into my face. I was wearing a thin blouse and the wind had raised goose bumps along my arms.

Harry finally pulled away and took my hands in his. "Ginny…" he started, running his fingers through his hair. "I love you more than anything, I promise I will win the war for you and then I'll come back." He took out a black velvet box and got down on one knee. "Ginevra Weasley, will you marry me?"

Inside the little box sat a sparkling diamond ring. I was stunned. I did not expect this, so all I did was stand there and stare at it. No doubt, my mother would be thrilled; she always thought Harry and I were meant for each other. The twins would play a series of pranks they would call 'acceptance into the family,' if George wasn't already dead, and Ron would throw a tantrum for a few days.

But how could I marry Harry when I was so disloyal to him behind his back? When I was in love with the enemy. But I knew Harry offered stability, love and protection. He promised the life I always dreamed of but not the life I wanted now.

I must have been starring at the ring for a long time, "Ginny?" asked Harry uncertainly.

I looked at him, at his emerald ears. I saw hope in them and love but there was something behind that. Fear. Fear that I would say no.

I opened my mouth, my throat suddenly dry as sand. Hot tears began to form, obscuring my vision. "Yes."

That single three letter word changed my life forever. A word I could never take back.

Harry leapt up and pulled me into a tight hug. My tears were flowing freely now, but they weren't for happiness.

---------

It was almost a month since Harry had proposed, when a white dove landed on my window sill one morning. It held a length of green ribbon in its beak, it was our signal. I knew I shouldn't. Glancing at Harry's ring on my finger, I made up my mind. I had to end it before someone got hurt.

---------

He was already there when I arrived. He sat at the small kitchen table, gazing intently at the flickering lamp on the table. Once again, his hair was loose and disheveled, slightly falling into face. He spoke no words.

I drew in a deep breath and gathered my courage. "I can't do this anymore. We have to stop seeing each other."

His grey eyes were fixed on mine, still and silent.

I turned to leave, unable to stay in his presence any longer. I didn't know how he did it so quickly. He was off his chair and by me fast so quick, I almost swore he Apparated. He grabbed my wrist so that I was incapable of leaving.

"Why?" his voice so quiet, I almost didn't hear it.

"I can't hurt Harry anymore."

He jerked my arm so that I went flying into him, stopping myself just in time. I held both of my arms against his chest, serving as a barrier between the two of us.

"You're engaged to Potter?" He saw my ring.

I nodded.

"You don't love him."

"I love Harry," I stated defiantly.

He lowered his head and covered the side of my face and neck with trails of hot, fiery kisses. "Who do you love?"

His kisses were like Veritaserum on my skin, burning my skin and left me begging for more.

"Who do you love?' he fiercely whispered again when I failed to answer him the first time.

"You."

He seemed satisfied with my response as he began to undo the clasps on my cloak and steer me towards the bedroom. The bedroom where I had sinned so many nights before.

---------

He watched me as I got dressed, running my fingers through my hair as I tried to tame it. It was unnerving for him to watch me, the way a cat watched its prey until at the last moment it would attack it.

"If I could have it any other way, I wish you were with me instead of Potter."

I froze, it was probably the deepest thing he had ever said to me. "I wish it were that way," I said, just before closing the door on him

_And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying  
_

---------

The war was getting worse. It came closer with every passing day. Harry was often gone, hunting for the last Horcrux.

He didn't try to contact me again. Whether he had other matters on his mind or he just didn't want to, I never knew. Everyday, I would scan the skies for a white dove but none came. It was selfish of me. I was engaged and I had told him already, not to see me. Still, it didn't stop my small ray of hope.

Everyday, I sat Grimmauld Place waiting for something to happen. Plenty of things were happening outside. Fear, chaos and death eagerly awaited me, swallowing me along if I dared step out the house. Harry isolated me from all of this; I didn't know whether to be thankful to be safe or angry that I was so useless while everyone was being murdered.

I was alone one night. Listening to the sounds of the house while I sat in front of the fire. I could hear the door banging heavily against the frame as someone slammed it. It was Harry.

"Harry," I got up from the position I was sitting in. "Are you okay?"

He didn't answer but instead pulled me close to him, cutting off my supply of oxygen. Gently, I kissed him back. "I missed you."

"I love you Ginny," he said as he buried his face into my neck.

"I love you too Harry." A lie.

I closed my eyes, wishing he wasn't Harry.

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
a murderer  
_

---------

Ron was always a protective brother over me. A bit of a hypocrite but nevertheless, he looked after me. I always saw him as just another one of my brothers, out to ruin my fun.

I was six when Charlie had gotten a new broomstick in honor of being on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. It wasn't really new, it was second hand but it was all Mum and Dad could afford. Charlie didn't mind, in fact he was thrilled that he didn't have to use dad's old one anymore.

Everyone crowded around it the night he'd received it. Even Bill and Percy, who didn't play much of Quidditch admired it. I tried to squeeze between all of my brothers, trying to see it too. Afterwards, everyone took turns flying a few laps around the yard with it. Charlie had handed me the broom right after Fred got off it, but it was Ron who had taken it out of little hands. "I don't want you hurting yourself," he had said before kicking off on it. Ironically, he wasn't much of a flyer either; he had crashed into a tree branch and was knocked unconscious for a few hours.

When I went to school, Ron still watched over me like a hawk. He scared off any boy that came within ten feet of me. They were either all too afraid of my brothers or Ron made sure that any boy who dared blink in my direction was mysteriously injured. Dating anyone was virtually impossible.

I still loved him though, no matter what.

It was late afternoon when Tonks poked her head through the fireplace. "Ginny, I think you'd better come over to the Burrow," she said. She sounded somber. My heart began to beat faster. Did they catch him? Do they know? With a shaking hand, I grabbed a handful of Floo powder and flung it into the fire. The flames turned bright green, "The Burrow!" I shouted and stepped into them.

Mum and Hermione were holding onto each other, sobbing hysterically when I appeared. The rest were solemn and it was gravely quiet in the kitchen except for the crying. Harry stood by the sink, gripping the side of it tightly with his head hung and eyes closed.

"What happened?" I asked, my heart, now pounding so hard, that it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.

At first no one would answer, only throwing shifty glances across the room at each other. I though they knew about my secret.

"Ron's dead."

At first the words didn't register. It was all a jumble of words that I couldn't make sense of. Then, all the blood drained from my face. "Oh my god."

No one answered.

"I… NO!"

Everyone looked at me, a bit surprised by my outburst.

"He…he's not dead."

"He's dead, Ginny," said Bill.

"No," I was still unable to accept the truth.

"He's dead," whispered Harry, "I saw him die, he killed him. It was all my fault."

"Who?"

"Malfoy."

_I feel it in the air  
As I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another day  
A kiss up on my cheek  
He's here reluctantly  
As if I'm gonna be out late  
I say I won't be long  
Just hanging with the girls  
A liar didn't have to tell  
Because we both know  
Where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well  
_

---------

It was days before anyone could convince me to come out of my room. I couldn't help myself; I hoped that if I fell asleep and woke up the next morning, it would have all been a nightmare. Unfortunately, the world doesn't spin that way.

Ron's funeral was short and held in our backyard. There was only our family and few members from the order. Any other friends or relatives who had heard about his death was probably too afraid to leave to their homes. I didn't blame them; this was a time of fear.

Harry's face was stone like as he stood there over Ron's body. I knew he blamed himself for what happened. How could he? Harry didn't kill Ron.

No, it was my fault. I had brought on Ron's death.

"I'll kill him," Harry said after the ceremony. "Ron didn't deserve to die like that!"

In his burst of anger, he flung the nearest thing to him which happened to be Dad's model of an aeroplane he had received for Christmas one year. It smashed into little pieces against the wall. Dad didn't do anything about it; he was too upset over Ron to be angry.

I retreated into my childhood room, unable to handle anything else. I threw myself onto the narrow bed and muffled my sobs with the pillow.

Why did he have to do it? Why did he have to kill Ron? I was so confused with my emotions. I loved him so much but I also hated him for killing my brother. The more I pondered on that thought, the more confused I became.

But I knew who and what he was. A Death Eater, the murderer of my brother. I was just another girl. I shouldn't have been so naïve thinking that I meant something to him. That I changed something in him that wasn't there in the first place.

---------

Shortly, barely a day after Ron's funeral, he sent for me.

The white dove when I had least expected it. My hands shook with rage as I gripped the ribbon; fingernails digging into my skin which caused it break and spill drops of my blood on the floor. How dare he?

He didn't mean anything to me anymore, I told myself over and over again. I loved Harry.

I wanted to punish him for what he did to my brother. To my whole family and every single innocent soul he had so heartlessly taken.

---------

He was late. He was never on time before, either early or late. Never on time.

Gripping my wand firmly, I tried to stop my hand from shaking too much. I knew what I was about to do, I had to do it.

"Red," he greeted with a tip of his head. When I didn't answer him, he took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to kill Weasley."

A lie. I knew it. "Like you didn't mean to kill Neville or Colin or the countless others you've already murdered," I said icily.

He didn't say anything. I knew I had him where I wanted to. I had to do it, it was now or never.

"I don't enjoy it, I have no choice."

Once again, his words stunned me but I regained composure when I convinced myself he was just playing his guilt card. I wasn't going to fall for it this time. Shaking, I held my wand up. "No."

"Ginny," he murmured, moving towards me and swooping down and claiming my lips.

Sometimes I wondered if I was under the Imperius curse or if he just had that effect on me. As soon as he touched me, my mind lost all thought. I didn't remember dropping my wand but I heard it clatter on the floor. I couldn't bring myself to stop him or myself.

Merlin help me.

---------

It was still dark out when I awoke. The light of the sun just barely touching the tops of the trees. He was still asleep. Just lying there, so handsome and god-like with his muscular chest and sharp features. He was vulnerable, this was my chance.

I retrieved my wand from where I had dropped it in the kitchen and went back to the room. I took a deep breath and held the wand just above his neck.

A sudden fluttering of his eye and I caught glimpse of his grey eyes in the pale light. Cold, mercury grey. The shade of storm grey that you saw in the clouds just before it would rain and thunder.

He didn't say anything, just stared at me as if he was expecting it. I was frozen in my position, I couldn't move even though my mind was screaming at me to. When I didn't do anything, he grabbed my arms and rolled me back onto the bed. Prying my fingers off the wand, he started kissing me again.

Why couldn't I kill him?

---------

"Don't go yet." They were the first words out of his mouth.

"I have to go. Harry will be suspicious."

"Potter can wait."

I let him hold me for a few minutes more.

"If I could, I would wake up with you every morning," he murmured into my hair.

I wanted that too.

"You changed me."

Did I?

"Say something, Gin."

I rolled over and faced him properly. "What do you want me to say?"

"Anything."

"I hate you for all the things you've done."

He brushed his cool fingers over my cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I know." He took a moment to pause. "Things aren't safe anymore. It's becoming riskier for me to come out now."

"What do the other's say about your disappearance?"

"They don't dare question my whereabouts. What does Potter say?"

"He's too busy looking for Horcruxes to notice."

He snorted as he draped an arm over my stomach and gathered me closer.

"I really have to go now." I slid out of his grasp and began gathering my robes which was scattered around the bedroom.

He got dressed too, while watching me but I faced the wall and refused to look at him.

"I wanted to give you this." He pulled out a small gold chain with a ring strung on it, from his pocket.

"You can keep your gift," I said.

"No, I wanted you to have it. It was my mother's ring."

He loved his mother. Why would he want to give me her ring? "I… can't take that."

"Yes, you can." He slipped the chain around my neck. The diamond of the ring contrasted against the dark of my robes.

"Thank you."

"Stick close to Potter, you'll be safe." He kissed me again, except this time, there was something different about it. I couldn't tell what it was.

"I love you Ginny." He said when we finally broke away from each other.

"I love you too Draco." I truly meant it.

I never saw him again after that.

_Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying _

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
a murderer_

---------

Harry found the last the Horcrux and destroyed it. The news brought hope to the members of the order but hope could only last so long.

Everyday, things grew worse and worse. More people died, Evil grew closer to taking over the world.

Half a year. I had not seen him in six months, two weeks and three days. I slowly kept count, still waiting. I couldn't directly look at Harry anymore out of fear he would see all my lies. The ring hung around my neck on that chain, tucked underneath the layers of clothing so no one would suspect it was there. I wished I could see him again, just for one more night. I could spend it in his arms and pretend that reality was just a nightmare.

The worst day of my life came. An attack was launched on the area of Ottery St. Catchpole, the small muggle village close to where I had grown up. Of course, everyone went to fight; I was forced to stay behind.

It was a day later before I saw anyone again. I was a Grimmauld Place, as usual. Harry had come to me, grinning stupidly like he had just won a game of chess or gotten a passing grade on a potions assignment. "I did it, Gin."

"What?"

"I finally brought justice to Ron!"

"What are you talking about, Harry?"

"I killed Malfoy."

_His trust  
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore (anymore)  
_

---------

He knew. Something must have warned him, it was why he had given me his mother's ring, kissed me differently… told me that he loved me

Harry killed him, two words uttered that ended his life. They brought his body back, like some sort of consolation prize that they killed one of The Dark Lord's closest Death Eaters and the Order was making progress towards the bigger prize. It sickened me that they did that.

I couldn't bring myself to find his body, where ever Harry had placed it. Instead, I rolled myself into a ball and clutched the ring, sobbing for him.

Nobody mourned for him, I was the only one. Both of his parents were dead, and he was just another toy to do Voldemort's bidding. He tortured and killed but he loved me and that was all I ever needed. I never even got to say good bye to him.

Everyone celebrated, drank their fire whiskey and plotted ways of finally killing Voldemort now that they had destroyed the final Horcrux. I stayed in the shadows, silent tears staining my cheeks.

---------

Two years can seem like an eternity. Especially when you're trying to hold onto your life and praying for a miracle. It took two years for Harry defeat Voldemort and when he did, what was left of the people burst into celebration. Harry was their miracle.

I shifted James from one knee to my other one while he shook his rattle. Planting a kiss on his baby cheek, I put him into the crib. He gurgled happily waving the rattle in the air.

Thank Merlin, James came out looking like me and nothing like his real father. Harry didn't know the truth about his son, I never planned on telling him either. He loved James and he loved me, I didn't want to ruin everything. Harry was a wonderful loving father, he returned home, to his family after everything was over.

I feel guilty that I was unfaithful to Harry, and I still am. I still love Draco no matter what.

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
a murderer (a murderer) _

No no no no

Yeah yeah yeah

---------

**Author's Note: **

**Kasey**

**I wrote this with my friend, Tina. She's basically the mastermind behind this idea. She's a very good writer, she's like 2 years younger than I am and she's way better than me. Then again, she's extremely smart and English is her best subject (other than art!) Gawd, I just am in awe of her and how good she made this story.**

**This story is kinda different from some of the other stories I've read, and it kinda follows the song, but not really. I originally thought it would be cool where the guy that hurts the most and knows that Ginny is cheating was going to be Harry, but then Tina turned it the other way around so that it was going to be Draco.**

**This fic is dedicated to my Grandma who died on August 26, 2006. Rest in peace, Grandma. I'll always miss you.**

---------

**Tina**

**What can I say? Kas already said it all. This could have probably been chaptered but I didn't want it to be. Thanks to our beta readers Heather, Jessica, Ambreen and Stllmagic! Love you guys!**

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**Plz review. We would really like to know what you thought about it, being as this is the first successful one shot we've written. **

**Lots of Luv,**

**Kas and Tina **


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